Saturday, January 10, 2015

in the first degree

first glance
first kiss
first touch
first chance

Where does love go if it does not die?
If it never fizzles, fractures, or morphs into something ugly?
If it is not burned at the stake or strangled empty of all its good intentions?
If two people choose to walk away from a worthy thing because love is not enough?

Where does love go when we are simply…

Will my lost love be shunted into a bank of unclaimed property, collecting dust until something triggers memory of its existence?
Will my saved love burn holes in my pockets and trickle out the bottoms until I have nothing left to give?
Or will I give it away too freely to underserving beneficiaries, uneducated of its value?
Will my quiet love find peace in another heart, in another town?
Will I bury it within my body, only until I explode with the madness of missed possibility?
Will I rest it on a shelf, high above arms reach, so that I can see but cannot touch?
(Please, God) Will this love fade into something more tolerable?
Or will it become impossible to say his name without resentment?

I am quite sure that love like this cannot die of natural causes.

No, love like this must be murdered. 


  1. This is painful to read, though your words are, as always, beautiful. I hope you are ok dear one, I am reminded of some lyrics by Joanna Newsom: 'And the love we hold, the love we spurn, will not grow cold, only taciturn.' xxx

  2. I'm sorry. I don't know whether you are in doubt or you know its already been murdered. Either way love sucks to find the love you talk about is a once in a lifetime thing and even then how do you know?
    I love your posts.

  3. LuLu... I think the same thing... Where do I put that love I have for him? I've tried to put it away... bury it... hide it...

    Still I feel it... it hurts that he doesn't, although I think one day he will... I don't want to be there with open arms as he truly doesn't deserve me, yet I think I would be week.

    I hope this is a better year for both of us... here's to us getting past them this year...

  4. I know this kind of love. It's like a ghost inside my heart, sometimes known, sometimes invisible to me. I don't think it ever goes away. Maybe we can acknowledge it, say hello when it pops in our mind, but also move on from the feelings.

  5. I am sorry to read this. Love is a series of heartbreaks until we finally meet "the one". And you WILL meet the one...

  6. I don't even know what love is anymore. I thought I did but then everything changed, as it always does.


  7. The hardest thing is admitting that nothing lasts forever. I am having a hard time accepting this myself.

    M xx
    Come say hi: Lois Lennon